Do you need help feeling more confident? You’re in the right place! Here learn why confidence is important and how to build self confidence.
Going into my first annual review as a new engineer was very nerve-wracking. I didn’t really know what to expect. Although I had exceeded all of my deliverables for the year, I was still anxious. Let’s be honest, these meetings are just awkward.
Everything was going well and then we got to the self improvement part. My boss said the one thing he wanted me work on was my confidence. I was a little taken aback by this because I was expecting my development objective to be a technical skill. But confidence? How are you supposed to improve that?
He went on to explain that he thought my engineering was sound. However, he wanted me to trust myself and go with my instincts. He suggested that I become more decisive, as opposed to running my decisions by him for approval.
Although this meeting was over ten years ago, I remember it like it was yesterday. My boss was dead-on with his feedback. Confidence in my technical competence is something I have always struggled with. This was a turning point in my career and I attribute much of my success to his constructive criticism.
Why Confidence Is Important
Confidence is the key to success in both the classroom and the workforce. It impacts how well you are able to do a variety of tasks. Here are seven ways confidence can make you more effective.
1. Perseverance
In the most simplistic terms, confidence comes down to believing in yourself. You need to truly know that “you can do it”, even during tough times. Having confidence allows you to persevere after failure, instead of giving up. This is paramount for engineers, since failing is part of the job.
2. Public Speaking
How you present yourself will reflect how others view you. If you want people to listen to you, you must present your ideas confidently. People will think you know what you’re talking about and will listen. You could be the smartest person in the room, but if you do not have the courage to speak up, no one will hear your good ideas.
3. Decision Making
Have you ever been working on a project where one member of the team feels really strongly that you should go in one direction, but you think you should go in a different direction? The team member seems very emphatic so you second guess yourself and go with their suggestion. Then, it turns out they were wrong and you were right.
You want to kick yourself for not trusting your gut. This has happened to me more times than I care to remember. You need confidence in your decision making so you can defend your stance and get others to agree. It will help you believe in yourself and trust your instincts.
4. Leadership
Let’s be clear, there is a big difference between cockiness and confidence. Sometimes these terms are mistakenly used interchangeably. Cocky people come off as know-it-alls and are obnoxious. On the other hand confidence is actually being able to acknowledge what you do not know and relying on your team members to help. You are secure enough in your own abilities that you do not have to know the answer to everything (news flash- no one does). This is what makes a great and respected leader.
5. Problem Solving
Being self confident is a must in problem solving. Often you may be faced with an issue that you may not know the answer to or even the exact path to take to get the answer. Therefore, you must trust yourself that you have the skills to figure it out.
In order to be successful, it means you have also experienced failures. This is how you learn. As you gain more experience your problem solving will become more effective because you will know what works and what doesn’t.
The opposite is true too. Those that are unconfident second guess themselves. They often hold themselves back because they are overthinking things. Those that have a fear of failure take it as a major set back if they fail or think they aren’t good enough as opposed to looking at it as a learning experience.
6. Ability To Try New Things
This can be intimidating, but you need to know that you can do it. For example, I used to avoid the machine shop like the plague. I didn’t know anything about machines, even though I felt like I should have since I was majoring in mechanical engineering. Also, I didn’t want to embarrass myself around my peers that I assumed knew much more than me.
Eventually, I had to take a machine shop class to graduate. I actually got an A. All of my fears were illogical and completely unfounded. I should’ve ignored my inner critic and had more confidence that I could do it.
That is usually what happens isn’t it? Something you are scared to do, doesn’t seem as bad as you made it out to be once you actually do it. Try to remember this the next time you are dreading doing something.
People who believe their negative thoughts might never start because they are paralyzed with self doubt or overthinking all of the what if scenarios- “what if I fail”, “what if I embarrass myself”, “what if people think I am stupid.” These insecurities will hold you back from reaching your full potential.
7. Ability To Receive Constructive Criticism
Self improvement is paramount for success in life. However, it can be difficult to hear from others what you need to work on.
People who have high self esteem are able to receive feedback because they do not take it personally. They accept it as an opportunity for improvement.
On the other hand, others with low self-confidence may take it as a personal attack. Instead of looking inward, they will project outward and hate the person giving the feedback.
Why People Struggle With Confidence
Confidence is a funny thing. There are so many aspects of your life that are impacted by confidence. So your level of self-assurance may vary depending on the activity.
You see, in general I am a confident person. However, when I was starting my career the one area of my life I lacked self confidence in was my technical abilities. I think many engineers face this same challenge.
It seems to stem from the stereotype that engineers are geniuses. They can solve any problem and posses high technical acumen. Therefore, studying and practicing engineering can be quite intimidating.
This leads aspiring engineers to have self-doubt and be worried about embarrassing themselves or looking dumb. I was always comparing myself to other engineers, instead of focusing on my own strengths.
I know this is why I often doubted myself and would defer to others.
How do you build confidence?
Now that you understand the importance of confidence, you are probably wondering how do you improve it?
Contrary to popular belief, I do not think confidence is a skill, but rather a mindset. You have the power to choose to be confident and the ability to stop the negative self talk. Only you can decide to be positive instead of negative.
Here are some tips for how to boost your confidence:
Practice your skills and unleash your capabilities.
Gaining more experience in whatever you are lacking confidence is a great way to become more self-assured. Take small steps to push yourself outside your comfort zone each day so you keep moving forward. The more you do something, the easier it will become for you, thus increasing your confidence in your abilities.
Track your accomplishments
People with low confidence tend to focus on their weaknesses, as opposed to their talents. This perpetuates the negative thinking. An accomplishments tracker can help change this mindset and build confidence.
Start by writing down your achievements. In addition, you can document things you have overcome that make you feel proud of yourself. Remember my machine shop example from earlier? This would be a great instance to document.
Then, keep the list as a reminder. So the next time you are feeling insecure, review your list for the extra motivation you need. This will definitely make you feel good and see yourself in a more positive light!
The good news is that we’ve built an Accomplishments Tracker to make boosting your confidence even easier! For a limited time, get your FREE tracker now!
Keep things in perspective
I know when you are uncertain about something it can seem all-consuming. The negative inner dialogue can take on a life of its own and cause you to feel pretty bad about yourself. Therefore, it is critical to keep things in perspective.
Whenever I feel bad about myself, one of the best pieces of advice my parents say to me is,
“There is always someone better than you and there is always someone worse than you.”
In other words, when you are highly confident and feel great, there is always someone better than you. Likewise when you are feeling bad about yourself and assume you can’t do something, remember there is always someone worse than you. This isn’t meant to invalidate your feelings, but instead, make you really reflect on your thoughts and help you to overcome your doubts.
Change your mindset about failure
When you have low self-esteem, typically you are afraid of failing. For example, if you hate public speaking it might be because you are scared you will forget what you want to say and your audience will think you are incompetent. Or maybe you failed your first calculus test so you have written off the subject because you think you are not smart enough to get it.
These are both examples of limiting beliefs. Instead of focusing on the negative failures, turn them into positive learning experiences. Thomas Edison summarized this best when he said,
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
Don’t be afraid to make a mistake. Everyone fails. Just learn from it and use it to help you in the future.
Summary
Henry Ford summarized confidence when he wisely stated,
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right.”
Confidence is a mindset that can impact any part of our life. It is also the secret to success.
Here are some of the top areas in college or work that it can impact:
- Perseverance
- Public speaking
- Decision making
- Leadership
- Problem solving
- Ability to trying new things
- Ability to receive constructive criticism
When you find yourself needing a confidence boost, take action and try these tips:
- Practice your skills and unleash your capabilities.
- Track your accomplishments.
- Keep things in perspective.
- Change your mindset about failure.
Do you need help boosting your confidence? The good news is that we’ve built an Accomplishments Tracker so that you can track everything you have achieved or overcome that makes you proud. Then, you can refer to it whenever you are doubting yourself and need some confidence. Reminding yourself of your abilities will definitely pay off! For a limited time, get your FREE tracker now!
If you enjoyed this article, why is confidence important and how to build it or have any questions, please feel free to leave a comment below!
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